Women always want to know "where this is going". Most men want to play it by ear and just "see where time will take us". That is where the disconnect lies that women miss and simply can not comprehend.
This post is not health care related but a topic of discussion over this past weekend. It's more about relationships and how women could potentially ruin something good they have going on.
Many women even if they are financially stable and capable of buying expensive things for themselves still expect expensive gifts and trips from their significant other. This is especially embarrassing when the woman does NOT buy this stuff for herself but the expectation is others should buy it for her. I am specifically talking about the dating phase of relationships. Women start to become more demanding the longer the relationship goes on and start to feel more comfortable verbalizing how they truly feel about situations.
In my personal opinion I believe women should NEVER expect and especially never ask for expensive things regardless of the occasion (birthday, anniversary, Christmas, I don't care). If a man wants to buy you something expensive he will. The price of a gift is not equivalent to how much he cares about you. Many women just want these expensive things to be able to tell their friends and family that their boy friend bought whatever the item is for them. It's a showing off type of thing and it's really stupid.
Men don't like being told what to do. They like to feel like they came up with the idea themselves. Pressuring him to buy you something expensive for your birthday or an anniversary is probably going to make him not even want to do it or maybe he will do it BUT, only to spare himelf the drama that would come out of it if he did not purchase the item you wanted. It's really a lose lose situation. You may not get the gift you wanted but you will get the gift HE wanted to get for you or you may get the gift you wanted but for the wrong reasons. The same goes for pressuring him or giving him a ultimatum to propose to you. Why?! Why are you forcing a man to give you a ring?! If you tell him something like, "if we are not engaged by the end of the year this is over" and he proposes on new years eve, do you think he REALLY wanted to get you a ring and marry you at this point in his life?! Wouldn't you rather him do it on his own! No pressure. No ultimatum. Because HE WANTED to do it. Because he WANTS to marry you! Just because your girl friends, grandma, mom, dad, whomever is feeding you crap talking about, "you guys have been dating for 5 years and you don't have a ring". There is a reason for that. Giving an ultimatum is not the right way of going about this situation.
If you want to know why you don't have a ring maybe you just need to revisit the marriage talk with your boyfriend and see where his mind is at. Or even better have you even had the marriage talk? Have you been dating this guy for 5 years and not talked about marriage? Does he even foresee himself getting married? If so you need to know what he wants to accomplish before making that step in his life because often men want to accomplish a set of things before getting married, whatever they may be. If not...you just wasted 5 years of your life not having this conversation from the get go.
Furthermore, women also love to tell their boy friends how to spend their money. STOP THIS. Men hate this!! It's their money. They worked for it. They earned it. So they will spend it however they like. I understand to those women that are truly concerned, they don't want their boy friend going into debt and ruining their credit but, men have to learn these things on their own. They become resentful when you poke your nose into their financial business. If he wants to blow $500 on drinks at a bar on Sunday watching football with the boys, LET HIM. I guarantee he will appreciate it more than you scolding him about it. No man wants another mom. Stop acting like his mother.
Another HUGE mistake women make is when they start dating a guy and start to feel like he is "the one" or "oneitis" as I like to call it they drop everything and everyone and put all their eggs in one basket! They revolve their entire life around this guy. Spending all their free time with him and him only. I don't care how amazing this guy is, don't drop all your hobbies and friends for him. He is not going to do that for you! And the worst part is, if you guys break up, that is when you realize that you have no friends to hang out with and you have no extra curricular activities to do because your life revolved around this guy. Meanwhile, he will be out at the bar with his boys having a drink (or drinks) THAT NIGHT probably hitting on the hot chick sitting next him because he is in survival mode.
Ladies, please. Don't do this. It is pathetic. Great you found an amazing guy! Work him into your schedule. It's OK if you can't meet up with him every time there is a chance. If he likes you he will want to see you whenever it works for the both you. Just think about it. Many women will cancel plans they might have had all week with their girlfriends if this new guy all of a sudden wants to hang out at the same time you originally had plans just so you can see him. Now, if the tables were turned most men if they had plans all week to spend friday night at poker night with the boys watching basketball you better believe that he's not going to cancel his plans just to see you. What he might do is tell you he will come by to see you AFTER if you are free. You see the difference? You don't have to always be available. Men don't want to feel like they are your only source of entertainment. They term it "clingy". Both men and women don't like "clingy". Steer clear of that title because he will surely run just like you would if the situation was flipped.
I tend to be a little on the aloof side for a woman. That is why it is hard for me to understand this type of behavior from women. Trust is key. Don't mother your man. It kills the romance. Keep your interests and your friends. Don't be demanding. For God's sake leave his phone alone! Lastly, if you're dating him only to show off, you're in it for the wrong reasons.
I really would like to hear your opinions/thoughts/comments on this subject. If you agree or disagree. Please feel free to comment!
Until next time
-Norah
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