Someone once told me, "I'd never date you because you have too big of balls for me." I took it as a compliment...
I started grad school this September and I thought it might be different this time around considering I am with working professionals all looking to advance their careers and take the next professional step. Grad school is heavily based in group work. Anyone that has done grad school probably already knows that.
I have found that many people especially in my program do not know how to work in groups. Very competitive. They want to work alone. Unfortunately, people don't realize in the REAL world the majority of times especially in upper management positions its usually a team effort. The managers that don't grasp this concept are usually the ones everyone hate.
Many of these people whom we refer to as "A" type personalities go above and beyond what is asked of them. It is actually annoying not just to the other students but to the professors as well. They think it makes them look good but instead it back fires. One of my professors just flat out said when the question asks for a SHORT answer, he means it. He does not want an essay and admittedly said he does not read it anyway. He is simply looking for 2-3 key words. Another professor for a take home exam specifically said we do not have to answer in full sentences, fragmented sentences or bullet points would suffice. The "A" type personalities don't understand this concept. They STILL write paragraphs.
I could consider myself a "determined overachiever". However, I always understood that time is money. I don't want to waste my time doing extra work that is unnecessary nor do I want to create extra unnecessary work for someone else. Often these "A" type personalities will look at me and think that I'm a "slacker" because I haven't read the whole damn text book or started on my 20 page research paper by the second week of the quarter when its due at the end. What they don't realize is, I just have better time management and discipline than they do. I don't NEED to start writing my paper 5 weeks in advance. The funny thing is, we both will probably get the same grade in the end.
Bill Gates said, "Give the hardest job to the laziest person, they will find the quickest way to get the job done."
I love this quote because the people that feel like they have to get things done in advance frown upon the ones that wait till the end to get it done because they simply don't understand how it can possibly be accomplished in so little time. That's the beauty of it. I don't need to waste 100 hours doing something like writing a 20 page paper that a professor is MAYBE going to spend 10 minutes reading.
The same is applied in a business stand point. It's the "A" type personalities that get so frazzled and worked up for a big board meeting or a short presentation. They will put hours and hours into the presentation and think they have an hour to present their ideas or findings when in reality that is not the case!
They do not realize in the real world if they want to present something to a board with the CEO/CFO they better have their sh*t together in less than 10 minutes. Yes, spend time practicing your pitch in UNDER 10 minutes. No one is going to sit and listen or watch a power point for an hour for you to get your point across. GET TO THE POINT.
Personally, from a management stand point, everyone is replaceable. Managers want their team to do their job and do it well. If there are problems the manager wants to find the source of the problem and fix it. If that person does not correct the problem what SHOULD happen is that person gets fired and replaced! If you speak with any CEO or CFO of a big company they will tell you they are not afraid to fire or replace anyone. Good managers are not scared to fire people. You are running a business.
Often managers are too comfortable and too lazy to just fire the people who drag down their business. The best managers fire people and replace them. I would do it in a heart beat. It seems cold but as a manager that is my job. If you can't do your job, I sure as hell am not, and there is at least 100 others that want your job. Therefore, I am replacing you with someone that will get the job done CONSISTENTLY.
I hate work arounds. Work arounds are a band aid to the problem. There needs to be a root-cause analysis for the work around and have it fixed right away. Once people start doing work arounds it sends that message out to everyone that they can continue doing what they are doing because everyone else will accommodate what they are doing wrong. It's like a virus. Everyone is sick of it but does nothing to change it.
Get your job done and do it well.
Dont forget,
give credit where credit is do. The employees that do their job, recognize and reward them.
I am a soft hearted person the will go above and beyond to make people happy however, don't mistake my kindness or weakness. When the whip needs to be cracked, I'm definitely not scared to crack it.
Until next time.
-Norah
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Building Trust
Obviously, this is not health care specific. Building trust is an integral part of any type of relationship. This is a huge factor in the health care setting specifically. I have noticed especially in this passed week that "winning" people over is not as hard as people make it. It could be the most "difficult" patient. 95% of the time that difficult patient is truly NOT difficult, its just that YOU as the nurse or MD or whoever does not know how to adapt your personality to different types of personalities. Patients often become labeled "difficult" when they are "demanding".
As a healthcare provider "demanding" should not be seen as difficult because the essence of demanding is anxiety. People are scared. They have lost all control in the hospital. They just had surgery, a new diagnosis, or an acute flare up. It's all scary and they want to know what is going on. RARELY does anyone in the healthcare team take a few extra minutes to truly explain to the patient what is going on and what the plan of care is. You would be amazed at the difference in the patient if you just took a few minutes to involve and explain to the patient what on earth is going on with them and what the plan of care will be.
One of the days I worked this week and I received a direct admission from the clinic 20 minutes before the change of shift. I didn't even know I was getting this patient until she arrived on the floor. I was not prepared for an admission and all of you nurses out there know that the beginning and end of the shift are the busiest times. Anyhow, my patient arrives and I walk into her room the moment I look at her and I immediately flash back 5 years to a lecture in nursing school about epiglottitis. I remembered my professor saying, "you will know it when you see it". She was leaning forward mouth open struggling to breath and speak rating her pain as a 20/10 all in her throat. The only factors that were off was there was no strider (a high pitched whistling noise when taking a breath) and she was not drooling. I took her vitals there were all out of wack! I ran out to page the doctors to come up right away!! The patient was EXTREMELY anxious!! As any person would be when they feel like their airway is closing in on them and they can barely breath! Her father was at bedside who happens to be an MD himself. He did not give me a second to breath he wanted the MDs there right way! I explained to him that I have paged the doctors and they would be up within a few minutes. Well...
I get a phone call and its 5 minutes till 7 pm (when my shift ends) and the doctors that were supposed to be in charge of her care tell me they are not sure if she is their patient and are currently trying to figure it out. I told him sternly on the phone that regardless if this is not your patient someone needs to get up here NOW because this patient could stop breathing at any moment and that I needed orders for IV pain medication immediately. The doctor said okay and hung up. Needless to say the MD never came up. I was in her room trying to keep her as calm as I possibly could while trying to find a vein to start an IV on her. She was extremely dehydrated with of course makes it that much harder to find veins! I finally got an IV in her which was right when the MD walked in. It was about 7:15pm now. I had a trach kit at the bedside just in case the MDs would need to place an airway if necessary. The family was telling me they did not want surgery. It was such a difficult situation to be in. However, the most important thing for any healthcare team member in this situation is to recognize any irriational behavior or outbursts from the patient or their family is purely out of fear. They have no idea what is going and they are afraid. It is of the utmost importance for YOU as the healthcare team member to remain calm! Be reassuring, DON'T make any promises you can't keep, and work fast!!!
The MD assessed the patient and while I stood at her bedside holding her hand because she asked me to. MD decided the patient did not need a trach and would get a STAT CT scan to find out exactly what is was going on in this patients throat. It was 7:30ish by now. Once I got my patient her IV, pain meds, anxiety med, drew all her labs, and got her sent off for CT I left and went home. I was worried about her. I knew that if I just left her with no IV that the night shift nurses would take a life time to get her an IV and she would be left in unfathomable pain. I could NOT do that. Even if it meant I stayed late.
The next morning I was back and I had her back. The night shift nurse giving me report told me what a nightmare of a patient she was. I HATE when nurses do that. I told the night shift nurse that the patient was probably "difficult" because she was so anxious and scared. She just wanted to know what was going on. Needless to say the patient and I got along just fine. She thanked me for being so caring and efficient the previous night. I told her that is my job. She works for the competing hospital to the hospital I work at. She just so happens to be that hospitals PR person. I don't care about status. Everyone gets the same treatment by me. I don't care if your Kim K or the bum on the street. Everyone is a human being. End of story. However, the hospital of course made it a big deal because this patient has the power to write some really nasty things about her experience at our hospital. Therefore, they made it clear that it was imperative to take "good" care of her.
Back to the trust thing. The point of this story was its building trust. It starts from initial contact. If you don't create it from the start its hard to get it as the relationship goes on because the person is constantly questioning your motives. In the hospital if you tell a patient you will be back in 10 minutes with pain meds and don't come back for an hour, you have lost your trust with that patient. If you tell them you will call the doctor and you don't and hours pass by and they don't see the doctor, they lose trust. If you are not sincere, they lose trust. People can FEEL when you are sincere. People know when you are acting fake.
Quick basic example. I coworker of mine asked me to start an IV on one of his hard stick patients. I told him I would go take a look but I couldn't guarantee I would get an IV in. I went into this patients room and first introduced myself and told her what I was there to do. Her immediate response was, "I am very hard to start an IV on. My veins roll. They have poked me so many times." I reassure her and told her I was just there to look. If I did not see a vein that I knew I had a really good chance of getting an IV in I would not poke her at all. She relaxed a little bit. I grabbed the tourniquet and tied it around her arm. She had great veins!! I looked at her and I said, "you have great veins!". She looked at me and said ,"no I don't. They roll. No one can get an IV in." I pointed to a vein and said, "this is a really good vein. Can I try once? If I don't get it I won't poke you again? deal?" she agreed. I explained everything I was doing step by step because I new she was anxious and if you simply just walk someone through what you are doing and involve them in the process it reduces their anxiety by probably 80%. I explained to her with veins that roll you just gonna hold them down real tight so they don't run away when the needle goes in the skin. She shook her head "yes" doubtfully at me. I told her she would feel a poke and placed the IV. She was shocked. She was so happy. I told her, "I hope it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be." She thanked me a bunch of times. The nurse that was caring for her came in to connect her to her antibiotics. She looked at me and said, "can you do it. I want you to do it. please?" I told her sure no problem. Her nurse said, "no no its ok ill do it Norah, you can go back to your patients". The patient went into the bathroom and I told the nurse caring for her that its ok that I would hook her up that I thought she was just anxious and it really wasn't a big deal. It would take me less than 30 seconds to connect her. The nurse caring for agreed and left the room. I connected the patient to the antibiotics and she told me that her trust had been broken in the hospital because so many people tell her one thing and do something else. She thanked me several times for being so kind. I really didn't do anything differently with her that I wouldn't do with my other patients. It all just goes back to that extra minute.
Take an extra minute to build the trust. Introduce yourself. Ask the patient how they are doing. Explain what you are doing! Make sure they are comfortable before you leave the room and always ask them if they need anything when you come back. Be prompt. If you say you will be back in a certain time frame do your best to be back within that time frame! If you don't explain to them why you are late. Be honest! It's that simple. Truly. Build a solid relationship with your patients. Then, if you do make a mistake or forget to get their crackers or juice or whatever, they are MUCH more forgiving. However, if they already perceive you as cold, non caring, and too busy to help them they won't be so forgiving.
Learn to swallow your pride. Stop arguing with patients. Instead, try to understand where their behavior is stemming from and target that. Learn to have patience! LOTS of patience!!
Being a nurse is as rewarding as your make it.
Until next time.
-Norah
As a healthcare provider "demanding" should not be seen as difficult because the essence of demanding is anxiety. People are scared. They have lost all control in the hospital. They just had surgery, a new diagnosis, or an acute flare up. It's all scary and they want to know what is going on. RARELY does anyone in the healthcare team take a few extra minutes to truly explain to the patient what is going on and what the plan of care is. You would be amazed at the difference in the patient if you just took a few minutes to involve and explain to the patient what on earth is going on with them and what the plan of care will be.
One of the days I worked this week and I received a direct admission from the clinic 20 minutes before the change of shift. I didn't even know I was getting this patient until she arrived on the floor. I was not prepared for an admission and all of you nurses out there know that the beginning and end of the shift are the busiest times. Anyhow, my patient arrives and I walk into her room the moment I look at her and I immediately flash back 5 years to a lecture in nursing school about epiglottitis. I remembered my professor saying, "you will know it when you see it". She was leaning forward mouth open struggling to breath and speak rating her pain as a 20/10 all in her throat. The only factors that were off was there was no strider (a high pitched whistling noise when taking a breath) and she was not drooling. I took her vitals there were all out of wack! I ran out to page the doctors to come up right away!! The patient was EXTREMELY anxious!! As any person would be when they feel like their airway is closing in on them and they can barely breath! Her father was at bedside who happens to be an MD himself. He did not give me a second to breath he wanted the MDs there right way! I explained to him that I have paged the doctors and they would be up within a few minutes. Well...
I get a phone call and its 5 minutes till 7 pm (when my shift ends) and the doctors that were supposed to be in charge of her care tell me they are not sure if she is their patient and are currently trying to figure it out. I told him sternly on the phone that regardless if this is not your patient someone needs to get up here NOW because this patient could stop breathing at any moment and that I needed orders for IV pain medication immediately. The doctor said okay and hung up. Needless to say the MD never came up. I was in her room trying to keep her as calm as I possibly could while trying to find a vein to start an IV on her. She was extremely dehydrated with of course makes it that much harder to find veins! I finally got an IV in her which was right when the MD walked in. It was about 7:15pm now. I had a trach kit at the bedside just in case the MDs would need to place an airway if necessary. The family was telling me they did not want surgery. It was such a difficult situation to be in. However, the most important thing for any healthcare team member in this situation is to recognize any irriational behavior or outbursts from the patient or their family is purely out of fear. They have no idea what is going and they are afraid. It is of the utmost importance for YOU as the healthcare team member to remain calm! Be reassuring, DON'T make any promises you can't keep, and work fast!!!
The MD assessed the patient and while I stood at her bedside holding her hand because she asked me to. MD decided the patient did not need a trach and would get a STAT CT scan to find out exactly what is was going on in this patients throat. It was 7:30ish by now. Once I got my patient her IV, pain meds, anxiety med, drew all her labs, and got her sent off for CT I left and went home. I was worried about her. I knew that if I just left her with no IV that the night shift nurses would take a life time to get her an IV and she would be left in unfathomable pain. I could NOT do that. Even if it meant I stayed late.
The next morning I was back and I had her back. The night shift nurse giving me report told me what a nightmare of a patient she was. I HATE when nurses do that. I told the night shift nurse that the patient was probably "difficult" because she was so anxious and scared. She just wanted to know what was going on. Needless to say the patient and I got along just fine. She thanked me for being so caring and efficient the previous night. I told her that is my job. She works for the competing hospital to the hospital I work at. She just so happens to be that hospitals PR person. I don't care about status. Everyone gets the same treatment by me. I don't care if your Kim K or the bum on the street. Everyone is a human being. End of story. However, the hospital of course made it a big deal because this patient has the power to write some really nasty things about her experience at our hospital. Therefore, they made it clear that it was imperative to take "good" care of her.
Back to the trust thing. The point of this story was its building trust. It starts from initial contact. If you don't create it from the start its hard to get it as the relationship goes on because the person is constantly questioning your motives. In the hospital if you tell a patient you will be back in 10 minutes with pain meds and don't come back for an hour, you have lost your trust with that patient. If you tell them you will call the doctor and you don't and hours pass by and they don't see the doctor, they lose trust. If you are not sincere, they lose trust. People can FEEL when you are sincere. People know when you are acting fake.
Quick basic example. I coworker of mine asked me to start an IV on one of his hard stick patients. I told him I would go take a look but I couldn't guarantee I would get an IV in. I went into this patients room and first introduced myself and told her what I was there to do. Her immediate response was, "I am very hard to start an IV on. My veins roll. They have poked me so many times." I reassure her and told her I was just there to look. If I did not see a vein that I knew I had a really good chance of getting an IV in I would not poke her at all. She relaxed a little bit. I grabbed the tourniquet and tied it around her arm. She had great veins!! I looked at her and I said, "you have great veins!". She looked at me and said ,"no I don't. They roll. No one can get an IV in." I pointed to a vein and said, "this is a really good vein. Can I try once? If I don't get it I won't poke you again? deal?" she agreed. I explained everything I was doing step by step because I new she was anxious and if you simply just walk someone through what you are doing and involve them in the process it reduces their anxiety by probably 80%. I explained to her with veins that roll you just gonna hold them down real tight so they don't run away when the needle goes in the skin. She shook her head "yes" doubtfully at me. I told her she would feel a poke and placed the IV. She was shocked. She was so happy. I told her, "I hope it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be." She thanked me a bunch of times. The nurse that was caring for her came in to connect her to her antibiotics. She looked at me and said, "can you do it. I want you to do it. please?" I told her sure no problem. Her nurse said, "no no its ok ill do it Norah, you can go back to your patients". The patient went into the bathroom and I told the nurse caring for her that its ok that I would hook her up that I thought she was just anxious and it really wasn't a big deal. It would take me less than 30 seconds to connect her. The nurse caring for agreed and left the room. I connected the patient to the antibiotics and she told me that her trust had been broken in the hospital because so many people tell her one thing and do something else. She thanked me several times for being so kind. I really didn't do anything differently with her that I wouldn't do with my other patients. It all just goes back to that extra minute.
Take an extra minute to build the trust. Introduce yourself. Ask the patient how they are doing. Explain what you are doing! Make sure they are comfortable before you leave the room and always ask them if they need anything when you come back. Be prompt. If you say you will be back in a certain time frame do your best to be back within that time frame! If you don't explain to them why you are late. Be honest! It's that simple. Truly. Build a solid relationship with your patients. Then, if you do make a mistake or forget to get their crackers or juice or whatever, they are MUCH more forgiving. However, if they already perceive you as cold, non caring, and too busy to help them they won't be so forgiving.
Learn to swallow your pride. Stop arguing with patients. Instead, try to understand where their behavior is stemming from and target that. Learn to have patience! LOTS of patience!!
Being a nurse is as rewarding as your make it.
Until next time.
-Norah
Friday, November 8, 2013
Walk away
I read an article today that I posted from psychology today titled "back off!". This article resonated much with me. I do feel that society puts a large emphasis on intimacy and relationships to the point that men/women rely on other person to "complete them" or "balance" them out.
That is a danger zone!! Danger zone for both people involved. A relationship should not be a "you complete me" situation. That person should be a best friend, partner, confidant, and lover.
When a person is looking for someone to complete them that is when emotions run rampant. Clingy. Demanding attention. Demanding too much time or simply just not understanding you need ALONE time.
Asking for alone time in a relationship should not be threatening to the other person. It gives a person a chance to regroup, think things through, and just be an individual. Many people don't understand this. Especially in the case of disagreements. Instead of arguing the hell out of something and saying things you don't mean in the heat of the moment why not walk away. Just walk the hell away. Be alone.
The other person needs to understand and should take alone time too to gain clarity of the situation. This is not a threat to your relationship.
Often, many people stay in unhappy relationships because they are comfortable. It's familiar. You've invested so many years. Whatever. That's an unhealthy situation especially if you stay and bring children into that situation. That is purely selfish! Because for lack of better words, sh*t is bound to hit the fan at some point and those poor kids are going to be the ones that suffer the most.
Have the courage to walk away. Just walk away. Noone is saying its not going to hurt or that you won't be sad. You will. But it's necessary to move on. It's an opportunity for growth, self reflection, and learning about yourself. You now know what you really want and who knows maybe years down the road you two could work things out...or maybe not but, what you had going was just not cutting it. Don't base your happiness off of someone else.
The reality is, real life is not a fairy tale, and sometimes I think we confuse the two. If you didn't get the chance to read the article I posted I have linked it below. It's worth your time!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200909/back
As always, thanks for reading and please feel free to comment.
Until next time.
-Norah
That is a danger zone!! Danger zone for both people involved. A relationship should not be a "you complete me" situation. That person should be a best friend, partner, confidant, and lover.
When a person is looking for someone to complete them that is when emotions run rampant. Clingy. Demanding attention. Demanding too much time or simply just not understanding you need ALONE time.
Asking for alone time in a relationship should not be threatening to the other person. It gives a person a chance to regroup, think things through, and just be an individual. Many people don't understand this. Especially in the case of disagreements. Instead of arguing the hell out of something and saying things you don't mean in the heat of the moment why not walk away. Just walk the hell away. Be alone.
The other person needs to understand and should take alone time too to gain clarity of the situation. This is not a threat to your relationship.
Often, many people stay in unhappy relationships because they are comfortable. It's familiar. You've invested so many years. Whatever. That's an unhealthy situation especially if you stay and bring children into that situation. That is purely selfish! Because for lack of better words, sh*t is bound to hit the fan at some point and those poor kids are going to be the ones that suffer the most.
Have the courage to walk away. Just walk away. Noone is saying its not going to hurt or that you won't be sad. You will. But it's necessary to move on. It's an opportunity for growth, self reflection, and learning about yourself. You now know what you really want and who knows maybe years down the road you two could work things out...or maybe not but, what you had going was just not cutting it. Don't base your happiness off of someone else.
The reality is, real life is not a fairy tale, and sometimes I think we confuse the two. If you didn't get the chance to read the article I posted I have linked it below. It's worth your time!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200909/back
As always, thanks for reading and please feel free to comment.
Until next time.
-Norah
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Humbled & Grateful
This past month has been a humbling one at work.
I have taken care of a 20 year old young lady with stage IV ovarian cancer and now a 23 year old young man with testicular cancer.
Granted my 23 year old male patient had to have his testicles removed but will continue to live a healthy life it is still a BIG deal. Any man would agree.
My 20 year old female patient did not even remember who I was this last week after taking care of her the pervious week. When I went in her room she was looking at me blankly. When I asked her if she remembered me she told me, "you look a little familiar". I tried to remind her of the previous week and she just shook her head side to side in frustration.
That hurt. Bad. She is declining so fast. She's only 20. My heart breaks every time I take care of her. I had to hold back tears that day.
I am humbled and grateful for everything. Especially my health. Any little thing throws us off. A sore throat, itchy eyes, or sore feet from dancing in heels all night. However, we tolerate it because we KNOW its temporary. That it will go away. What if we found out it wouldn't go away? How would you feel? How do you think you would react? How would you cope?
I always thought about that this past February when I had my meniscus repaired and I was stuck in a brace that locked my knee in full extension and was on crutches for 6 weeks. The idea didn't seem so bad until I was living it. My knee was hurting of course from surgery but it was in the days to come that I found myself frustrated and emotional because I am so used to being independent and doing things on my own I wanted to continue being independent. I didn't want to ask for help. My back, shoulders, and palms of my hands were sore from crutching everywhere. My pinky fingers would go numb from my nerves being compressed in my wrist from crutching around. My right hip was aching in pain from not being able to bend my surgical knee to change its position. My left hip was hurting from putting all my body weight on it. It was crazy. In the moments that I would have my little breakdowns by myself I would hold on to the thought that it would be over in a few weeks. That it would get better as time goes on. However, it really made me think about the people for example that are in a traumatic car accident or some form of traumatic event and wake up in the hospital after maybe being a in a coma for a few days to find out they are permanently a paraplegic or quadriplegic or maybe even a below knee amputation.
That is forever! The coping curve is HUGE for them. The sadness, frustration, anger...I can't imagine. I hated being on crutches. I was so stubborn I would figure out how to do everything by myself. The only thing I couldn't do no matter what was drive. That was a pain too. Having to ask to be taken to my doctors appointments and such. My heart goes out to those people.
I can relate easily. When I see my patients especially the young ones get frustrated easily by needing help to just simply get out of bed to chair or use the bathroom. I can empathize on so many levels. I try my best to encourage their independence but let them know that their safety is first. It would be a huge ego blow for a person in their twenties to end up on the floor because they fell trying to transfer from bed to chair. It would be hard for them to comprehend how that happened.
I remember waking up on maybe my 2nd or 3rd night after knee surgery and I was crutching to the bathroom and the pain was paralyzing. I remember I was stuck in the bathroom just crying because it hurt so bad and I didn't know I could possibly crutch all the way back to my bed. It was such a helpless feeling. I hated it!! I completely understand with my patients.
I understand all of it. Nursing is not just basic skills. Nursing is about understanding the psychology of what is happening mentally with your patients at well. As a nurse if you can understand the psychology behind your patients behavior it makes your job easier and you can empathize or sympathize with them better. Connect on a deeper level. That's how you become a great nurse. That is how you make a difference. The essence of nursing is caring. If you don't care that is when you need to bow out.
No one wants to be cared for by an emotionless nurse. It's ok to shed a few tears with your patients or their family especially when you've built a relationship with them over time. It's ok to give a patient or family member a hug to comfort them. It's ok to just hold a patients hand as they cry. In the same respect it's the same as giving your patient a high five for great effort. You change peoples lives when you touch them emotionally. It changes everything.
I have a greater appreciation for every little bit of health. Life is short. Do what makes you happy. Don't forget to tell the ones you love that you love them. Be the best person you can be everyday. Learn to be positive even when it seems like you are surrounded by negativity find an outlet to keep you positive. Genuinely want good things for others. Make best with what you have. Great things happen to great people.
Nursing has changed my life.
I am humbled and grateful.
Until next time.
-Norah
I have taken care of a 20 year old young lady with stage IV ovarian cancer and now a 23 year old young man with testicular cancer.
Granted my 23 year old male patient had to have his testicles removed but will continue to live a healthy life it is still a BIG deal. Any man would agree.
My 20 year old female patient did not even remember who I was this last week after taking care of her the pervious week. When I went in her room she was looking at me blankly. When I asked her if she remembered me she told me, "you look a little familiar". I tried to remind her of the previous week and she just shook her head side to side in frustration.
That hurt. Bad. She is declining so fast. She's only 20. My heart breaks every time I take care of her. I had to hold back tears that day.
I am humbled and grateful for everything. Especially my health. Any little thing throws us off. A sore throat, itchy eyes, or sore feet from dancing in heels all night. However, we tolerate it because we KNOW its temporary. That it will go away. What if we found out it wouldn't go away? How would you feel? How do you think you would react? How would you cope?
I always thought about that this past February when I had my meniscus repaired and I was stuck in a brace that locked my knee in full extension and was on crutches for 6 weeks. The idea didn't seem so bad until I was living it. My knee was hurting of course from surgery but it was in the days to come that I found myself frustrated and emotional because I am so used to being independent and doing things on my own I wanted to continue being independent. I didn't want to ask for help. My back, shoulders, and palms of my hands were sore from crutching everywhere. My pinky fingers would go numb from my nerves being compressed in my wrist from crutching around. My right hip was aching in pain from not being able to bend my surgical knee to change its position. My left hip was hurting from putting all my body weight on it. It was crazy. In the moments that I would have my little breakdowns by myself I would hold on to the thought that it would be over in a few weeks. That it would get better as time goes on. However, it really made me think about the people for example that are in a traumatic car accident or some form of traumatic event and wake up in the hospital after maybe being a in a coma for a few days to find out they are permanently a paraplegic or quadriplegic or maybe even a below knee amputation.
That is forever! The coping curve is HUGE for them. The sadness, frustration, anger...I can't imagine. I hated being on crutches. I was so stubborn I would figure out how to do everything by myself. The only thing I couldn't do no matter what was drive. That was a pain too. Having to ask to be taken to my doctors appointments and such. My heart goes out to those people.
I can relate easily. When I see my patients especially the young ones get frustrated easily by needing help to just simply get out of bed to chair or use the bathroom. I can empathize on so many levels. I try my best to encourage their independence but let them know that their safety is first. It would be a huge ego blow for a person in their twenties to end up on the floor because they fell trying to transfer from bed to chair. It would be hard for them to comprehend how that happened.
I remember waking up on maybe my 2nd or 3rd night after knee surgery and I was crutching to the bathroom and the pain was paralyzing. I remember I was stuck in the bathroom just crying because it hurt so bad and I didn't know I could possibly crutch all the way back to my bed. It was such a helpless feeling. I hated it!! I completely understand with my patients.
I understand all of it. Nursing is not just basic skills. Nursing is about understanding the psychology of what is happening mentally with your patients at well. As a nurse if you can understand the psychology behind your patients behavior it makes your job easier and you can empathize or sympathize with them better. Connect on a deeper level. That's how you become a great nurse. That is how you make a difference. The essence of nursing is caring. If you don't care that is when you need to bow out.
No one wants to be cared for by an emotionless nurse. It's ok to shed a few tears with your patients or their family especially when you've built a relationship with them over time. It's ok to give a patient or family member a hug to comfort them. It's ok to just hold a patients hand as they cry. In the same respect it's the same as giving your patient a high five for great effort. You change peoples lives when you touch them emotionally. It changes everything.
I have a greater appreciation for every little bit of health. Life is short. Do what makes you happy. Don't forget to tell the ones you love that you love them. Be the best person you can be everyday. Learn to be positive even when it seems like you are surrounded by negativity find an outlet to keep you positive. Genuinely want good things for others. Make best with what you have. Great things happen to great people.
Nursing has changed my life.
I am humbled and grateful.
Until next time.
-Norah
Monday, November 4, 2013
The sh*t I don't like...
I open up my instagram and the first image I saw was this picture. The pictured was captioned, "Now that's how you say I'm sorry" and had 1,830 "likes" in under an hour.
This picture really annoyed me and the caption even more.
Women need to stop being so materialistic. If a man can do something that upsets you then fix it by giving you roses and money, that is sad.
What is the point of roses and money if he never changes. It's temporary. It's a quick fix. He knows he can get you to shut up and move on by something so simple.
Hell! I would shell out a few hundred bucks too if it meant I didn't have to hear the guy I was with nag me to death about some dumb mistake I did too.
The point is, this picture goes to show that many women put money at the top of their list. A man that makes money that can buy them the *finer* things in life. That is number one after deciding he is good looking enough for their taste. Then what kind of car, wallet, shoes, ect does he have. THEN maaaybee what kind of person he is. If you are this type of woman then you will always justify in your mind "bad behavior" with him loving you by showering you with expensive gifts.
The only person you are fooling is yourself. He's got you figured out and he's playing you.
What I think is even more annoying especially to the men I am sure is most of these women are not "ballers" themselves but expect the man they are/want to be with to be one.
I was raised in a household that taught me not to become too attached to the tangible things in life because they don't matter. As an adult I see that play out in myself more and more every day. It's nice to have nice things. Who doesn't like the finer things. However, they shouldn't make up who you are. You are independent of those things and shouldn't use them as a means for validation.
People "balling out" seeking validation from others...it's all fake.
I am not going to act like someone I am not. If my friends want to go out on any given random night and decide they want to get table for $5000 dollars and there is 5 of us. I would be straight up and tell them I am not dropping a grand on a table and bottle for no good reason. Why? Because I don't give a damn to ACT like I'm balling like that. I don't need to be validated by other people by buying a table and bottle. If I did, I would just be sending out the wrong message. Attracting all the wrong people. They only want to hang out with us because they ASSUME that if we can afford a table at this club we MUST have money.
Now, if it were a special occasion such as a bachelorette party or something. Yeah, I'd shell out money because that's what you do when you go on special trips like that. You spend money! And people generally don't think twice about that kind of stuff when they know you are a group partying for a special occasion. But just any old random night at the club...no.
I think it is really important to show genuine interest in a person especially when you first meet them. Compliment him if you like his shirt or car or whatever. Men love that. Men are proud of their car, proud of their style and choice in clothes. As a woman giving a compliment on those things you are validating to him that he has good taste and that makes him feel good.
Focus on getting to know him genuinely instead of superficially. There is no bigger turn off then a girl that only wants to be with you for the money, fame, connections, or a combination of the three.
If you want the *finer* things in life. Get them for yourself. Don't wait on a man to get them for you.
Don't be every other girl.
People know special when they see it.
As Lauryn Hill said, "don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem"....
Until next time.
-Norah
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