I open up my instagram and the first image I saw was this picture. The pictured was captioned, "Now that's how you say I'm sorry" and had 1,830 "likes" in under an hour.
This picture really annoyed me and the caption even more.
Women need to stop being so materialistic. If a man can do something that upsets you then fix it by giving you roses and money, that is sad.
What is the point of roses and money if he never changes. It's temporary. It's a quick fix. He knows he can get you to shut up and move on by something so simple.
Hell! I would shell out a few hundred bucks too if it meant I didn't have to hear the guy I was with nag me to death about some dumb mistake I did too.
The point is, this picture goes to show that many women put money at the top of their list. A man that makes money that can buy them the *finer* things in life. That is number one after deciding he is good looking enough for their taste. Then what kind of car, wallet, shoes, ect does he have. THEN maaaybee what kind of person he is. If you are this type of woman then you will always justify in your mind "bad behavior" with him loving you by showering you with expensive gifts.
The only person you are fooling is yourself. He's got you figured out and he's playing you.
What I think is even more annoying especially to the men I am sure is most of these women are not "ballers" themselves but expect the man they are/want to be with to be one.
I was raised in a household that taught me not to become too attached to the tangible things in life because they don't matter. As an adult I see that play out in myself more and more every day. It's nice to have nice things. Who doesn't like the finer things. However, they shouldn't make up who you are. You are independent of those things and shouldn't use them as a means for validation.
People "balling out" seeking validation from others...it's all fake.
I am not going to act like someone I am not. If my friends want to go out on any given random night and decide they want to get table for $5000 dollars and there is 5 of us. I would be straight up and tell them I am not dropping a grand on a table and bottle for no good reason. Why? Because I don't give a damn to ACT like I'm balling like that. I don't need to be validated by other people by buying a table and bottle. If I did, I would just be sending out the wrong message. Attracting all the wrong people. They only want to hang out with us because they ASSUME that if we can afford a table at this club we MUST have money.
Now, if it were a special occasion such as a bachelorette party or something. Yeah, I'd shell out money because that's what you do when you go on special trips like that. You spend money! And people generally don't think twice about that kind of stuff when they know you are a group partying for a special occasion. But just any old random night at the club...no.
I think it is really important to show genuine interest in a person especially when you first meet them. Compliment him if you like his shirt or car or whatever. Men love that. Men are proud of their car, proud of their style and choice in clothes. As a woman giving a compliment on those things you are validating to him that he has good taste and that makes him feel good.
Focus on getting to know him genuinely instead of superficially. There is no bigger turn off then a girl that only wants to be with you for the money, fame, connections, or a combination of the three.
If you want the *finer* things in life. Get them for yourself. Don't wait on a man to get them for you.
Don't be every other girl.
People know special when they see it.
As Lauryn Hill said, "don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem"....
Until next time.
-Norah
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