Today the patient I mentioned on my previous post that was diagnosed with ovarian cancer passed away. I took care of her just this passed Friday. She was still "alert and oriented" as we like to say in the hospital. She was still talking and knew what was going on and able to request medications ect.
Taking care of her on Friday was really emotional for me because she had just been readmitted to the hospital a few days prior because her situation was declining. Again, it was the same experience as the last time I took care of her.
Her room was packed with all of her loved ones. She is such a selfless person it is SO amazing. Truly. I cannot put into words. This lady was actively dying and she was worried about everyone else and not herself. She was in unfathomable pain on a hydromorphone drip, she was nauseated and throwing up and her nephew was getting ready to take a shower and in the middle of all of this she stops and tells her sister, "does he have a towel, make sure he has a towel".
I had to walk out of the room because my eyes were filling with tears because this woman was so amazing. Selfless. She pulled on all my heart strings. She was apologizing to me that she kept asking me for pain medication and nausea medication. It just blew my mind. I told her to not apologize! That I didn't want her to be in pain and if I had to be in there all day to make sure she was comfortable I would. Always saying thank you. She's always grateful. Just purely amazing.
It was sad for me to know she passed away today. I was thankful I was not caring for her because it would be very difficult for me emotionally to be in the middle of all of it because I have such a strong connection with her and the family. However, I did give my condolences to the family. I tried so hard not to cry. My eyes kept tearing up as the family was thanking me for everything.
Bittersweet.
She impacted me in such an amazing way. I'll never forget her because she inspired me so much. It's extremely rare to meet people these days that are selfless. She was the epitome of selfless.
I would be happy if I could inspire even one person the way she has inspired me. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to meet this woman and had the chance to tell her how amazing she was and how she had inspired me in just the few days I had the privilege of caring for her.
We live in a world that is extremely selfish. Everyone is so focused on achieving their goals and making money that no one really cares about the person next to them. People hardly even care about their own family let alone people that are not even blood related. I am determined to be different. There is nothing wrong with setting goals for oneself and achieving greatness in life. But what is the purpose of achieving greatness and keeping it all to yourself?
True greatness to me is not about how much money you have in your bank account, the car you drive, the house you own, the name brand of your purse/wallet, how many people follow you on twitter or instagram, or that you have a private jet. Greatness to me is how many people can say you have changed their life for the better by just being the person you are. Greatness is when a person does things for others with no expectation or intentions of wanting anything in return. Greatness is inspiring people to be better by just being in your presence. Greatness is selflessness. Greatness is when you are gone people remember you for your actions/deeds not for your fame and fortunes...
Until next time.
-Norah
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